A Sweet Beginning

Sinful temptations abound at the Lemon Garden Cafe, Shangri-La Kuala Lumpur.  If one doesn’t know it, one has to know it.

The very reason why it has become our yearly  Christmas celebration venue, apart from the fresh oysters, queen scallops, juicy prawns and of course, the succulent turkey.  For what is Christmas without the traditional roasted turkey.

My favourites – cherries and peaches

A huge lighted Christmas tree at the lobby.

Up close and personal.  How you wish you could eat these too right!

Merry Christmas &  Happy New Year to all!

 

Love

Why do Cancerians have this death wish upon themselves is beyond my comprehension.  But they do.  Well, Elizabeth Gilbert seems to think so.  And so do I.

“We make decisions very quickly about men, falling in love fast and without measuring the risks.  We have a tendency not only to see the best in everyone, but to assume that everyone is emotionally capable of reaching his highest potential.”

Which I agree is deathly.  And yet it sucks you in without you knowing.  And suddenly everything that is dangerous is challenging, every ugliness is beautiful – love most potent.

CNY Side Orders

What else but all the delicious cookies and more cookies and all things fried and crispy which unfortunately is the cause of my downfall.

Almond cookies and mini chicken floss rolls.

Fried something something… the keyword is FRIED!

Peanut cookies.  After eating this all other peanut cookies will never do again.  But don’t misunderstood that this is me boasting our baking skills, it’s the recipe that is absolutely good.

Crispy egg foldovers.

Prawn crackers.

Roasted macadamias.

As you can see you can’t run away from all the mouthwatering but super heaty new year delicacies.  You just have to pray hard and hope that as you pop another of these into your mouth another zit doesn’t pop out on your previously unblemished skin.

2nd Day CNY

Basically we’ll be having the same dishes for lunch that we had for our reunion dinner since we cooked everything in huge portions that could last us a few days!

Of course Ju Hu Char again.  This I heard is a Chinese New Year specialty dish for Penang Hokkiens.  No doubt imported by my granma since we have been having this once a year delicacy since time immemorial.

I have a suspicion the Pot Luck Leftovers as well.

On the second day of New Year is when we have reunion dinner with relatives from the maternal side.  For this year it’s at Unique Seafood Restaurant.

Jellyfish Yee Sang

Braised Shark’s Fin soup with Crabmeat and Dried Scallop

Steamed Sea Groupa in Soya Sauce.  No fishy taste and meat springy like the Marble Goby.

Boiled village chicken with Hong Kong Kailan

Boiled Live Tiger Prawns – very fresh.

Braised Mushrooms with Dried oyster, Bamboo Pitt and Fatt Choi

Stewed Rice with Waxed Duck – very fragrant.

Sweetened Sea Coconut with Lemon ice

Chinese Fancy Duet with Pandan filling

Complete nine course dinner.  Gosh, so sinfully full again!  My poor digestive system is working overtime again to process all the excessive food intake!

Sword

As I read, my zodiac sign says (and read this, they were in BOLD letters) this is a great year for Rats, that Cupid loves me!  That I’m going to charm the socks out of everyone who crosses my path this year!  To make sure, I scan the two pages of twelve zodiac signs to check whether the rest of the signs has anything in BOLD and there wasn’t.  My love life is going to be on a roll!  Yay!  (even if it is only on paper)

Strangely however, whatever I pursue drifts away and whatever I do not pursue are drawn to me like a magnetic field!

Like I was telling a friend she did in fact have a loser of a friend in me – who always gets guys all excited and in pursuit only to have them withered away like lifeless souls somewhere along the line of the game called love!  What’s wrong with me?   Is it something that I do or something that I didn’t do that always messes things up?  Enlighten me, I’m a good student, I picked up fast!

I was asked what are my feelings now that my ex-husband is getting married again.  The answer I gave was along the line of well he’s already remarrying and I’m still struggling in the ocean all by myself with no signs of getting saved!  Which isn’t exactly untrue.  What I failed to mention was whether I made the right choice in giving up something that truly belongs to me. Something that is so certain like day and night that I’ll probably never have to wonder ever again whether I’ll grow old graying and alone.

But when I looked at his wedding photos, it was so obvious that no other path will bring us the happiness that we both deserved.  I couldn’t have given him what he had in that photo.  Called it selfishness or unselfishness I think I did good for the both of us.   Even though I’m still struggling like crazy in the stormy ocean swimming with sharks and piranhas of all manifestations, trying not to drown or worst to be eaten alive!

The first book of Eat Pray Love:-

Virginia Woolf wrote,” Across the broad continent of a woman’s life falls the shadow of a sword”  On one side of the sword lies convention and tradition and order where “all is correct”.  But on the other side of the sword, if you’re crazy enough to cross it and choose a life that does not follow convention, “all is confusion.  Nothing follows a regular course”  Her argument was that the crossing of the shadow of that sword may bring a far more interesting existence to a woman, but you can bet it will also be more perilous.

‘It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of someone else’s life with perfection’ – The Bhagavad Gita(ancient Indian Yogi text)

Lost

In the midst of my brokenness I sent myself straight into earth’s most dangerous place –  a womanizer’s lair!  Don’t ask me why.  Told you I was broken!

Maybe I was trying to prove something to myself, to recoup whatever self dignity, principles and values that I still have left in me. That I don’t sleep around because of loneliness, that I don’t sleep around with anyone, that I’m not a slut!  Or have I given up on myself?  What do I care now?  A womanizer doesn’t sound that bad to me now given what had happened.

And yet I found comfort with a womanizer!  His touches were tender, his voice and his words soothing and he most probably give great sex as well.  I mean that doesn’t need much brainwork to conclude right given that he is ‘the’ womanizer!

I do not know whether our talking is a front to get me into bed or otherwise, whether they are half-truths or outright lies.  Whatever it was, it was good.  It was flirty.  The seduction was fun even bordering on being comedic that made me laugh! You do not exactly expect to be able to laugh when you are actually hurting inside.  It was also pretty sexy and romantic.  I did not expect him to lift me up and myself(even more unexpectedly) wrapping my legs around him, with him asking animatedly whether it should be the bedroom or the sofa!  So I was sitting on him and I was lying on top of him positioned by him.  And…….yes, I kissed him lightly on the lips which prompted him to ask  “Am I seducing him now?”  Am I?  “You kissed me!”  Did I?  I guessed I did but it wasn’t with the intention to seduce him.  I just needed the closeness, the warmth, just holding him close is enough.  Thus I touched his face gently and kissed his cheeks.  All I wanted to convey was whatever his reputation was or is, I do not judge him and I believe part of his soul is still good.  He joked that I made him feel like the Japanese comfort women!

Just in case anyone is wondering, no, we didn’t go that far.  Probably I’m the only woman who managed to come out of his lair unscathed!  I was bold with him cos I knew he wouldn’t do anything to me.  Which made him jest “so I’m not afraid of him huh?”  He has nothing to lose even if I’m testing him.  Not exactly right.  I think he didn’t want to lose my respect for him.  I knew from the way he was stroking my lower back gently with his hands under my top and then pulling them out and smoothening my top again that he wouldn’t.   He was showing me respect and I appreciated that.

I myself couldn’t quite articulate what was happening to me and he said matter of factly that I was lost.  And you know what, he was right.  He definitely is gifted in reading people.  I do not know who I am anymore.  I thought I am this person but I’m not after all.  If I was strong I would have stopped and walked away but I didn’t and all for someone who didn’t even want me.  That’s how disappointing I was to myself!

He asked me why him?  I’m not sure.  Maybe the universe is telling me that this man is more than the shallow womanizer he is branded to be.  That beneath all that front is a man worthy of redemption and love.  Maybe it’s because I chose to see the beauty in people even if they are rotten to the core.  And maybe that is my curse and my destiny.

P/S: I was happy riding his mountain bike for a moment.  Another little something we have in common……

13th Day of the New Year

Doing it the traditional way – house visiting my BFF which happens to coincide with her eldest son’s birthday.  Hence the sumptuous spread prepared lovingly by his mum and his grandma and my luck to be able to enjoy the good food.

This stuff crab dish is absolutely delicious.  Granma divulge that it is made with crabmeat and mince pork which are then stuff into the crabshell and fried in wok. A tedious piece of work there.

Bak kut teh (pork in herbal mixed) prepared by his doting mum.

The bubur cacar dessert is coconut milk boiled with two types of sweet potatoes, yam and a special kind of banana.  I’m telling you it’s one of the best that I’ve tasted.  Home cooked food is always the best!

Banana(again) chocolate cake for the birthday boy.

Even Max did not get to escape being paparazzied!  The moment he saw me coming he went into a corner and rolled up into a ball like this.  Even attempted to stick his head underneath the rack just to avoid being photographed!

Max looking up to heaven for help?

Next, we went to FGS Dong Zen Temple, Jenjarom which is about 15-20 mins from Klang Bukit Tinggi.  Some lantern decors around the temple.

Candles for prayers offerings in place of joss sticks.

Demonstration of how paper art works.

The amazing end product.

The chinese characters on the roof means redemption is not too late.  The darker color of the sky above signifies darkness and gloom.  But if you choose to redeem yourself while you still can, everything will become bright and clear just like the sky nearer to the roof with the words.  Love the concept!

The day is not over.  Managed to catch some Lion Dance at Bandar Botanic.  Such good luck yeah.  Been such a long time since I’ve last seen one, not to mention up close and personal.  I remembered when we were kids, we used to run out and catch the lion dance whenever one of our neighbours invited one to bless their house.  But it kind of become a rarity nowadays.

The God of Prosperity randomly handing out ang pows(red packets).  Notice all the little hands sticking out!

The little drummer boy.

The lions busy at work.  Roaring their way to prosperity and luck for all who came and saw amidst burning fire crackers hanging from the roof.

That about wraps up the new year with a BANG many BANGS(no pun intended)!

Accidents Do Happen!

I saw it coming from my rear view mirror….why wasn’t it slowing?  Why does it look like it is accelerating instead? In the split second it took me to decide whether I should let go of the brake and run the red light to avoid this black mass hurtling towards my spotless car, the awful sound ‘BANG’ came first, the realization that my body was jerking forward later a second later.

I thought my car died on the spot!  I almost couldn’t bring my shaking legs to step out of the car to see the extent of the damage.  And when I saw it I think I could start to breathe again.  A dent here, a tear and a scratch of paint there, two screws lose on the bumper but still hanging on.  It looks surprisingly okay for such a loud explosion!  My car was definitely tougher than I thought.  That, or it was simply a miracle!

The perpetrator was a couple in their sixties maybe.  The wife admitted vehemently that it was their fault (that they were momentarily blinded by the sunrays)but she also vehemently complained that their car was surely in worst shape than mine.  Like hello, is it my fault that it ended up this way?  It was a red light, my car was stationary!  After a while she relented and apologized profusely – that it’s probably my first car and it’s new.  Damn right she is.  It’s my first new car! And now it’s blemished forever!

I wasn’t really angry at them(more upset than angry) but someone’s got to fix my car!   I mean I don’t mind if they want to send it to their mechanic for repairs.  And if I’m a mechanic, I could probably accurately quote the repairs needed.  They must realised I am not in the business of banging up cars and extorting money!  Just bring it back to it’s original state and I’m happy.

I guessed I must have looked pretty forlorn and upset(in which case I was) cause she kept on explaining to my dad on the mobile that it was their fault.  She must have thought I’ll be grounded for life for this!   The next thing I knew she has upped the compensation without me actually demanding for it.  Now I was thinking what should I say?  Should I say thank you for banging my car and giving me the money to fix it!  One thing’s for sure though.  The morning mass must have earned me some brownie points and put me in God’s good grace!

Crossroad

It is neither impossible nor difficult to live an easy life if we choose to but will we be happy living it?

Am I doing it right or am I doing it wrong?  Does giving up now mean I’m losing faith in Him?

I am but so tired….confused…..whatever His ineffable plan might be, if there is any at all…..

The Last Nail

She listened to the pounding in of the nails, hammer echoing like pistol shots, and with every blow she felt a nail being driven into her own heart, envisaging the face that she knew so well, the granma she so clearly misses and loves so dearly for the one last time…..